Self Awareness Brings Calmer Pace

I am so thankful for the testimony meetings. I learn so much and love hearing all the ways everyone contributes. I have benefitted so much from testimony meetings given at Plainfield, Independent. One testimony meeting a testimony was given about itchy hands. It caught my attention because I have been having a similar problem. Hands that are so itchy I wake up at night and can’t sleep. I have thought this was due to always having my hands in water and a mixture of other things that always have my hands feeling agitated. But I also had this hunch that it had more to do with mental irritation but wasn’t really sure where to start. When the testifier said a Practitioner had told her “Irritation is a form of hate” I felt this very strong aha moment in my thought where irritation of all kind was being called out and put under spot light. This calling out is helping me to loose myself from thoughts of irritation and I am really grateful.

This last week my hands have not bothered me and every time I put them in water instead of thinking “Oh no not again” I think “I am not doing anything wrong” and I do a quick self-assessment of how am I doing with irritation in my thought. I have begun to feel an awareness of irritation that is helping me keep calm. In moments I would normally struggle it is getting easier to identify when I am letting in thoughts of exhaustion or feeling overwhelmed, also being aware of doing too many things at once. Instead of letting myself get bombarded with irritation I am working towards taking more breaks, finding ways to enjoy the day more, and slowing down before I get overwhelmed. It is mortal mind that would run me into the ground not God. Because of all the tools this church offers and really helpful Practitioner support I feel like I am finally gaining in the right direction. The other day I was in a situation with my youngest son that I do not always handle so well. But this time was different. I was calm. I spoke softly. I really heard what my son was trying to say. My oldest son, who was listening, said with so much enthusiasm “Mommy, you have a really good attitude today!” This is the best compliment I have ever been given. This was really meaningful to me and I cannot say enough how grateful I am for what I am learning by listening and reading all of this church’s precious resources.