Finding Plainfield Church and Healing of Shame

I would like to thank our dearest, loving Father-Mother God for the infinite patience, grace, and love that He extends to help us grow. Listening to the excellent Christian Science teaching in the Roundtable and Bible study at the weekend, I recalled coming face-to-face with my self-justification. Whilst not pretty, I wanted to share this account to testify the Truth that we are taught here about being on guard in our thoughts.

Many years ago, I was on a very minimum wage here in Australia. One Sunday, I came to my branch church, ashamed of my clothing. Immediately upon seeing the Holy practitioner here in Australia, I felt all sense of shame dissolve and a loving sense of God’s purest joy and love fall on me. And I could see the beauty of everyone at the church, everyone on the whole street. I was welcomed by two lovely ladies who were ushering. Their grace and kindness started me feeling a bit cheerier. After the service, as I was leaving, a person came to me with judging, cold disdain as their eyes traveled down to my feet and back up again with a sneer. Well, I fell for it! I was so hurt by this “look,” and I carried on in my thought about this for quite some time afterward, everywhere imaging judgement and ridicule!

It was some months before I returned to my branch church and I was warmly greeted by that Holy practitioner and those two sweet and loving ladies who ushered. When this one came, I was so stuck in my error that I just grunted a “hello,” which is markedly different from how I always behave, and it was meant to show that I did not like her. Even as I carried out this petty sense of human justice, my thought was: “Look at what you have just done on the very steps of your church: What kind of a Christian do you think that you are?”

I would love to say that from that day on, I have always been kind to everyone, even if they were unkind to me, but that is not what happened. I limped on like this for years, calling myself a Christian Scientist. Yes, doing some good work, but relying on a practitioner here far too much rather than actively working to cast this sin out of myself as I should have been doing. Improving in tiny increments, this error of wanting to fight back against human unkindness persisted. Just before I came to this Church, God gave me the biggest wake-up call of my life, and I realized that I had to stop and get very serious about ceasing all sinful thoughts within and get very serious about apologizing to God for my wrong thinking. Within about two weeks of committing myself to God in this way, I found dearest Plainfield Independent! I was so joyfully ready to learn and make any corrections needed to get this Science right and live the way God wants us to live. Today, whenever the idea comes that I am allowed to think unkindly or to feel angry at this one or that one because they first did wrong, etc., this is a massive red flag. Mary Baker Eddy wrote: “When I cease to judge, criticize or condemn, I begin to make progress.” And just like all that Mary Baker Eddy ever wrote and did, I have found her words to be the absolute Truth of Divine Inspiration.

I am so grateful for our Holy practitioners at this Church where the law to Love the Lord our God and Love our neighbor as ourselves is preached, practiced, and demonstrated. Thank you, God; thank you, Christ Jesus; and thank you, Mary Baker Eddy. So much love to you all.