Casting Out Self-will

I would like to thank our dear, patient and loving God, who is so kind and good. One of the character flaws that I have been working on within myself is the temptation to rush in and do things my own way – rather than taking everything straight to God.

I repeated this mistake a couple of months back. I wanted to solve a problem, and I thought I was the only one who could fix it – puffing myself up in my own thought instead of acknowledging God who is ever at work and who is the solution to all things – even the problems we often create for ourselves. I rushed, I had a choice – go down a safe street, or take the shortcut along what can only be called the street of ill repute, a street we have always avoided, especially when travelling on foot as I was that day. I stood waiting at the pedestrian lights, mind racing on how to fix this issue. In this mental turmoil, I heard a faint angel message: something along the lines of “angels would not tread there, do not take that street.” But I did not heed that warning, and very wilfully I brushed off this precious angel message – as if of no consequence – and I decided to power through – walking faster and faster down the street. About halfway along, I realised I had made a mistake. As I walked, I could feel a lot of hatred, and this sense kept building in intensity. I felt a push on my lower back, which pushed me down, and I fell to the ground really hard. That was no human hand that pushed me, and this really caught my attention now, so I lay low and waited, leaning on God. My ankle was extremely painful, and I felt very strongly not to get up! I sat in the path, praying to God, when just then four men came up to me, pretending to help at first, but then took my umbrella and started to have a sword fight with me as I sat on the ground. They made such a fuss of this, with me clearly injured on the ground and drawing back from them, that people started to look and check up on me, and so the four men realised this and quickly dispersed, and I didn’t see them again. I sat there praying – the pain was intense. I leaned hard on God to help me get to my feet, which I was able to do. With each step, the remainder of the way, I just kept repeating “please help me, dear Father” – I just kept repeating that until I got back inside our home.

I didn’t feel the need to pray for healing. What came to me was that God wants me off my feet – close to Him right now – and I have lessons to learn. I obeyed and thought deeply about this occurrence over the following weeks as the injury healed. Soon, I was off crutches and back able to walk, with my Plainfield practitioner praying for me and giving me citations and insights about this occurrence as my ankle fully healed. I am very grateful for this lesson. Had I listened to the angel message that day, instead of rushing off on my own will, this fall wouldn’t have happened in the first place. Even so, God used it to bless me, and He absolutely protected me from those four men and whatever intention they had. I am so grateful that God still loves me, even though at times I am stubborn in my own sense of self-will and the many mistakes this causes. God does not punish us – it is always the erroneous suggestion we entertain, instead of allowing God to rule the entirety of our lives, our thoughts, over every single breath. Thank you, God! Thank you, Christ Jesus! Thank you, Mary Baker Eddy! And thank you to my patient, kind, and loving practitioner at this Church, and so much love to you all.